The Narrow Gate

Breath in... Let it out slowly. . . .
Now think and relax.
You have but one chance to get a free ride around the solar system, make it count. Why not right?
What else are you doing with your time.

Just proving that I still use this thing. I don't have anything of any great merit to write. Whichc just might something of merit. Anyway. Keep on living and I might just up load my Senior Thesis, so that everyone can read it, not that anyone actually reads this thing anyway. Oh well....

So I have learned something about who I am just recently. I have come to the conclusion that it is not the location that I exist that is what is so important to me rather it is what I am doing it that location that bother me so much. Think a bout this for a minute, so far in my life I have had to do the same thing ever day. I get up at about the same time, I have class as one time or another, I eat at about the same time, I go to bed about the same time. I live on a wheel. It bothers me, that is why I get so upset sometimes because there is little room to mix it up, expectially here in the Soo, or in Michigan in general. Bah. That is why one has so much fun when they go to visit a friend, because it is new and exciting. This is what life lacks, most often, is the newness, the spark. I mean with facts like this one, One-half of workers reported they feel a great deal of stress on the job.* How can you expect you live and feel alive? You can't. Why arn't more people in the willing to strike out on adventure to see if they might find something they truly believed in and want? What is the matter with this country? The problem is a lack of self belief, confidence, and ability to go beyond the here and the now. To realize that it will all work out, it may not make sense, you may not even like the way of things right now but in the end, it will be okay. And chances are 999,999,999.999 times out of a billion, it will be better then just okay. Have faith, believe, trust. The only reason it is difficult is because it is a concept that is made to be so forein to us. With pratice it becomes easer, becuase it is easy to begin with. So believe and walk talk it will be okay and even if it isn't right away, the sun never set on today, or any day. It is all just point of view. So again remember, walk talk, trust yourself, believe, live the life you want to live. Let nothing come between you and life. Existance is easy, living is hard. Live!
-M-



...Peace!


*statistic, taken from CareerBuilder.com

It is odd to me to see how quickly life can turn.
...Life happens in the blink of an eye.
Hold on to what you believe, for you're never to change the things that have happened.

I think that I am slowly starting to get the hang of this living thing. It is alot more complicated that I ever thought before. Maybe that is because I think more than I 'should' but that is what give me such an sense of purpose. Life is most assuradly up and down, sort of. Because it is not really up or down it is only what side of the coin you are looking at. As of late I was looking at the dark side, and that's okay, the problem is that i was getting down becuase I didn't know how to fix it. Truth is that I still don't know how to fix it. But what I do know is that the sun never really sets it's only our point of view. The sun is always shineing, and that makes me smile. How beautiful. I wish I was more of a poet, or an artist. But maybe I am but I just haven't figured it out yet. I think that I'm getting close though. Love yourself, you are beautiful. Think of this right now as I write this I smile at the fact that I know you and that you make my world brighter. If that doesn't work, think that I am writing this instead of studying for my midterm, because we might, big might have a snow day. How silly is that. Be great. And love life. Live simply so that other might simply live. (maybe alittle over that top, but I like it.)
-M-


...Peace!

things change

Oh yeah too...
I just wanted to say that this life is complex and beautiful. I miss my friends, more than ever - I like it. I think that if this was my first sememster of my freshman year, I would have called home by now to beg my Dad to come a get me. But as it is I am 14 weeks away from being a graduate of University. Wow! Hmm... Well That's all I have, well that is coherent... I could rambel on and on about my Uncle getting married for the first time at 54 and how happy and sad that makes me. There is love out there for everyone, I just hope that I don't have to wait until I'm 54 to find it - oh well if I do. I won't know until it comes. Go figure. Well this is just going to get messy and long and you'll move on to another post and read about someone else doing things more interesting then myself so I'll let you go. Enjoy yourself, make the most of it, why not what other choice do you have? The alternitave is kinda shitty. There I go again.


...Peace!

The truth is out there...

LIVE! ...it is your only option.

We're all looking for the same thing... But how do we find it?
Why does it seem to elude us all so often?
Like my sister said in a recent post, there has to be more to this.
How do we find peace? How do we find contentment?
Can we?
Just something to think and ponder over.
-M-


...Peace!


"And then one day you find ten years have got behind you, no one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun."

Well, I not really sure what just happened, but I fairly confident that it has been going on along time.
Yeah. . .
. . . Life.

I never saw it coming, I just woke up from a nap before dinner and it had happen. I'm not sure what to do now...
I think that I am missing something that I have been missing it for along time. Well maybe more over looking it, because I am definately missing it. Where did it go, what have I been doing with my time, what the hell?
ShitFuck, this is not good, I only get one chance at this and this is how I spend it?
I think that I may have missed the ship of this one, I better put on my water wings and swim out to it. Or at the very least start my own theme park on the beach and sell hot dogs and cotton candy.
I need to start living before I wake and the next thing I know I'm 54 with a grandkid on the way.
I better get living or get busy dieing...cause I only get one shot at it.
Becuase you know those in glass houses, ssink ships. Fuck! Ass!!
So I would hed my advice and start living, because I know I'm ready for a new for a new soup de jour.
LIVE!!!

-M-


...Peace!

One year, and two months.
To everything there is a season, turn, turn, turn...
To the world outside,
Remember you are here only once, might as well make it count, have some fun and live it.
-M-


...Peace!

Just writing to say I'm still alive...
Life is a bazar turn of events and I love it.
Sure it hurts me and makes me want to just die sometimes, but for the most part it is something that gives me a chance to over come, to learn from. Thus no matter how bad it gets I will attempt to just take my hits and keep going. Now I'll be it, there are times and days when my luck is down and I would swear that God didn't love me any more. But I know that is not true, Though thousands fall about me, I shall not be harmed. I just have to keep up doing what it is that I have been called to, whatever that might be. I think that is part of the problem right now, I have no idea what it is that I am here to do, so I just feel lost, without direction or wind in my sails. I think that is okay though, Columbus, didn't know where he was going, and he is known for finding the Americas'. As long as I don't get stuck in the doldrumbs then I'll be okay. And as long as I still feel a little passion or fear or any other emotion in each day then I'm not stuck in a windless hell. Thus life is good there will be time enough in the future to deal with the storms. For the time being I should just get ready for the changing winds and tides. Life is beautiful. Life is meant to be lived. I must go forth and live it.
Life!


...Peace!

How beautiful life is. Sure from time to time it gets a little hairy, and off, but for the most part life is beautiful and wonderful. Today, I didn't have class, which was nice. I woke early and walked outside just to say hello to the world, at its dawn. Then I went back to sleep, which was nice. After a few more hours of sleep I woke and rejoined the world. I relaxed, and vacuumed, put clothes away, and then planned to run to the bank, I could not find my check. I was more than a little nervous, since it was the second time that I lost it. I took a few minutes and prayed, thanking God, and telling Him I misplaced it, and that I could use some help. Then I took a nap and just let it go, I just enjoyed the rest of my day, then I was moved. I started looking through my books, my schoolbooks and there it was, in my global politics, go figure. Then I went and talked to the boys relaxed some more, went to dinner, talked to some great friends and beautiful young women. I came home and relaxed, yet some more, it was nice. I talked to his group of guys, I talked to that group of guys, I talked to Hutter, and to Austin, and to yet other residents, I did rounds, talked some more, learned and enjoyed. I sat down to read, and decided that writing had greater merit so I am.
So I guess what I am saying is that life is beautiful! I don't know what it all means and I sure as heck don't have any real answers. But I do know that this place, no matter how bad you might think it is. Is only just a strange, truth, which allows us all to learn and grow, like well tended flowers. Beautiful, wild, ever blooming flowers.
I did realize something equally strange though, people, the wonderful things that make this place what it is, are the only real problem. If you want to get something done, you have to deal with people. That is why the world wants to automate everything. The less we have to deal with people with their ever changing minds and views, the less we have to put forth and out on the line. If you want to get something done you have to go through a lot of people to make it happen, if people weren't involved it would be so much easer. But it would lose something; it would lose that element of living, that element of truth, joy, wild and unaided wonder. So people are what make it. People are what make this world, what it is. My mama used to say that the world cease to exist if ants were gone from the earth, but that the earth would flourish if humans were removed. So if you want to live and enjoy this time of earth, surround your self with people, all sorts of people. Make this life better, go forth, and meet and learn and teach. Life is beautiful, but you must seek it out. Sometimes it will fall at your feet, and maybe it does everyday if you can take the sour with the sweet, and find the beauty in the little times, and things. But sometimes when you see and baby walking or old people being cute, it just makes you smile. Yet there are other times where you must go forth and make it sweet. Talk to the little old lady in the checkout line, or help someone with his or her trash. Make it. You are the only one that can, live life! Make it wonderful.
Just do it!
-M-

more later...


...Peace!

It was a goal this summer to have the best summer ever. Now at first I was highly unsure and didn't believe that it was possible. But now upon spending this last day of summer in reflection, I realized that it was not only possible, but that I did it, and my friends did it. Now on the eve of going back to the Soo to start getting ready for work, and the school year, I'm worried that it will all be over. Yet the thought comes to me, that it is never opver it only changes to become something new and better. And more over than that, everytime I have the love and wide-eyed wonder of a yound child it offers me the oppertunity to continue my best summer ever, more over my best time spent ever, living life. Because nothing beats it. Live life!


...Peace!

It doesn't seem right, life doesn't seem like it can move that fast but it has, and it does.
I feel somewhat like a lost sheep, Because I don't know quite what to think or feel. It is more that one can write, because it is something that most don't yet understand. It is a tangeled web of feelings. I love and miss her. I place my faith in Christ Almighty, knowing tht it will all be perfect because God only creates perfect things. So today I pray that I might be able to see with faith, wisdom, peace, and love. That I may better understand the balance that is instore for my life. And trust my God fully, for He has already done the hard stuff.
I love you and miss you!

Michael


...Peace!

11 Months.
"Life moves pretty quickly, if you don't stop and look around, you might just miss it."
Carpe Deim, Suck all the marrow out of life, make it your own, because at the end of the day if you don't you are the only one to blame.
So make today the best one ever, it might be your last. And if you are having a hard time with that idea, just remember... atleast your not dead. You are still taking in oxygen, eatting food, and here; alive that is. Some people in this world don't even have it that good. So be thankful for that with you have. You still are producing brain waves. So make waves in the life that you live! So Mother Fucking ROCK ON, Keep Rocking in the Free World!!! Because that is what this world is, free. Free to make any choice you want. If you arn't diggin' what it is you are doing then change it, you are the only that can! Find your hopes and dreams, then do what it takes to make those dreams come true. If you don't like the work needed to make that dream happen, then re-think your dream. So quit sitting in a pile of shit and make life awesome, for no other than you can. Just do it!!!!
Seize the Day!
-M-


...Peace!

What is the meaning of all things?
How do we know what it is that we are called to do? How do we know when we have arrived? Do we ever know? Well you know what, I'm not sure that we ever figure it out, but what I do know is that I', not totally sure that I would want to know when I get there. Because if I knew that I had reached where I was trying to get to, I would then become bored and then I would set my aim higher. Life is the best thing that has ever happen to any of us. So make it the most that it can be. Fly! Fly far, question everything and make believe the world to be your oyster. Don't let anything hold you back, least of all yourself. FLy man, Fly!
We, each one of us are the only ones that are capable of understanding or making our world. We are the only ones that are able to know the truth, and to answer the question of the meaning of things.
Make this world your own!
Live it completely...


...Peace!

10 Months...
It doesn't seem like it has been that long, it doesn't seem like it has been a full month if the truth be told.
I don't feel this old, I don't feel Like a senior, I don't feel even mature enough to be... well me. I feel like I'm still 18 or 19, I have no idea, what is going on in the world. I wish that I felt as old as I am, I wish that I had a better insight into not only my self but the world inwhich I live.
Go figure...

-M-


...Peace!

Jamie, I love you!!!
I need you in my life.
Please don't go.
Michael


...Peace!